I am ....

Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ellen: I is …
Teacher: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

ANNOTATION: Sentences do not always start with I am, Ellen is smart
enough to come up with a sentence to prove the teacher
wrong.
http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/


I blogged at 11:46 PM.

Haha

The comedian Dick Gregory tells of walking up to a lunch counter in Mississippi during the days of racial segregation. The waitress said to him, "We don't serve colored people." "That's fine," he replied, "I don't eat colored people. I'd like a piece of chicken."

ANNOTATION: Wow smart reply, it totally rebutted her statement.



I blogged at 2:25 AM.

Discourse

Background: Homer has brought his family along on a business team-building exercise in the woods, and Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are stuck in the National Park Service building, while all the employees are off team-building (Homer and Burns eventually get trapped in a cabin by an avalanche). Bart is standing in front of a Smokey the Bear statue, who has an electronic voice and a little quiz to administer. Bart and Smokey have the following exchange.

Smokey: (electronic intonation) Who is the only one who can stop forest fires?
Bart: (examines response panel, which has two buttons, marked "you" and "me", and presses "you")
Smokey: (electronic intonation) "You pressed YOU, meaning me. This is incorrect. You should have pressed ME, meaning you."

ANNOTATION: If studied carefully the You and Me is expressed
differently, depending on who is saying it.


I blogged at 1:50 AM.

Haha What A Mistake

The women included their husbands and their children in their potluck suppers.

ANNOTATION: It can mean differently if readers understands it
in another way,tricky.


I blogged at 1:45 AM.

Punctuation mistake

For sale: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

ANNOTATION: It would be a totally different sentence if a coma was
added between cook and with, funny!

http://www.punoftheday.com/cgi-bin/disppuns.pl?ord=F&cat=0&sub=0&page=1



I blogged at 1:39 AM.

Puns

1. ~ Q. Why can't you play cards on a small boat?

A. Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

ANNOTATION: The different meanings of a word can change the
whole sentence.

2. ~ Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

ANNOTATION: Funky way of interpreting words in a normal context.


3. ~ Police were called to a day-care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

ANNOTATION: Interesting because when the sentence is being spoken,
the language within the sentence changed.

4. ~ Q:What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
A : Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

ANNOTATION: Words that sound alike but have a different meaning
and gave another meaning or a hidden meaning to it.


http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/



I blogged at 1:23 AM.

Linguistic Jokes

Abbott: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: No, the name is Bud.
Abbott: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name is Bud.
Abbott: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Does it get stuffy?
Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
Abbott: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott: Software that runs on Windows?
Costello: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses!

http://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/
ANNOTATION: This joke is created by the confusion of English.
By misunderstanding computer terms and the English
can cause so much confusion. Interesting how language
can be so manipulative.



I blogged at 12:38 AM.

Me.

Name: Louisa =]

Favourite colour : Purple

Likes : Food, Anime, Music

Dislikes : Hot weather

The Language.

My Own Personal English Language Portfolio =]

The Tagboard.

Archives.

February 2008

Credits.

Skin done by Benson.
Image by Adobe Photoshop and Microsoft Paint.